What You Shouldn’t Say to Your Kids to Help They Grow Up “More Mature,” According to a Harvard Parenting Expert

After carrying out an analysis of more than 6,500 parents, the Harvard specialist found that praising children is not always the best way to give them the confidence to take on the challenges they set for themselves.

In addition to the infinite love that parents And the mothers they give to their children it is very common that as a sign of affection they also congratulate them on their achievements that they get as they grow up, like getting a good grade in class.

However, the toxic parent researcher Harvard University , Jennifer Breheny Wallace warned that Parents should pay attention to praise so that their children grow up “confident and successful”.

And after conducting an analysis of more than 6,500 parents across the United States, Wallace found that congratulate him children because specific achievements can do them far more harm than good.

What You Should Avoid Saying to Your Kids to Make Them ‘More Mature,’ According to a Harvard Parenting Expert

What You Should Avoid Telling Your Kids, According to a Harvard Expert

According to Wallace, who is also a journalist and author of the book Never enough —where he explores how to teach children to strive for excellence, without harming them in the process— Instead of highlighting specific accomplishments, it’s best to focus on your child’s traits that helped you succeed.

“Noticing the strengths of others and recognizing them makes a person feel like they matter.” assured the expert CNBC .

After surveying a group of child psychologists and surveying 6,500 parents in the United States, Wallace found that Emphasizing honesty, creativity, and other positive attributes in children helped them grow in emotionally healthy ways and become “stronger and more mature.”

What You Should Avoid Saying to Your Kids to Make Them ‘More Mature,’ According to a Harvard Parenting Expert

This approach attempts to see what is intrinsically valuable in them, what “has nothing to do with external achievements.” emphasized the researcher.

And that’s it Praise for specific achievements can increase pressure and stress in children and adolescents who may think that getting good grades or winning a competition is the only thing they can do to be recognized by their parents.

It is therefore important to recognize children’s strengths out loud. This way, they can understand that “their parents appreciate them for who they are, not just for their accomplishments.”

In the analysis, children who received this feedback from their parents tended to gain more confidence to take on challenging projects, without fear of failure and having the ability to bounce back in the event of failure.

Source: Latercera

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